I'm Trisha. I'm eyebrow-deep into working on my writing, and have the joy to report that my partner of the past 14 years, Susan, successfully emerged from a 5-hour cardiac proceedure that repaired RVOT-VT (with two aberrant pathways - one hid beneath the other)!
For the first time in 6 years she has a perfect, normal heartbeat! She's so filled with life that I can't help but smile all the time. . .
ME? Pushing 50, natural blonde, always armed. Faves are my S&W 649, my HK USP Compact and my Kimber Stainless Compact. Yep, I reload too, and I get a little frustrated that it's getting to be difficult to drive to the range these days (+20 year survivor of an acute closed head injury) - hence, the abandon of sensibility and the leap into the abyss of writing!
I'm glad to be here.
I see more elk and mule deer in any given day than people. Home is at 9,200ft in the Rocky Mountains.
I've posted a little over on Dr. Gloria Brame's forum, as well as Curve, TFL and THR (it makes it easy to get a sense of who I am as I always post under my own name - just run a search and read whatever catches your eye!).
I wasn't intending to single out individuals per se - I gave the reference as what I perceive as a more or less typical (and convenient, I admit) baseline of the underlying problem (with loads of diversity within the example) within the self defense/2A community that seems to all but shout a requirement for PP and GwG.
Another way of looking at it - do we need Log Cabin Republicans - or should we all just blend in discretely into the RNC?
Maybe it comes from living in the mountians, but I smile whenever people want me to blend in, you know?
There was a thorough demonstration that some of the folks on THR are still adamantly defending their right to remain in the dark ages (Matt Pane's post "I'll be at the GLBT Pride Festival this weekend" posted 25JUN05).
IMHO this goes back yet anon to the aparrently unresolvable dilemma for straight folk to truly understand who we are. Interestingly enough, light was shed on how such an incomprehension can exist when Susan recently told me that even after fourteen years together, she feels that at best, she may really understand about 60% of the mechanics and implications of my brain injury. She does her best to guess at the rest, but with my having no durable past to build a predictable personality upon, she's often at a loss. . .
To me, I'm normal. Brain injury, karotype 46, lesbian, natural blonde - I'm normal. I can only marginally cognicize normal people's behaviors, but I've attained some capacity to frame out many predictable behaviors.
The inverse seems to be straight folks' problem with us - attenuated exponentially when it comes to firearms/self defense.
Why PP & this forum? We know too much about the myriad faces and guises of death. Death of the imagination, death of spontaneous laughter, death of friendship, death of blood family, death of community, death of voice, and on into the totality that sees us truly dead and buried. Silence = death.
We have made astonishing progress, in all our diversity, in just a generation - much, no doubt, due to comensurate advances in technology. In barely a decade we can touch so many kindred in cyberspace that, seeing my 50th birthday almost here, it touches the fantastical, the surreal, the wonderous.
We used to be so cruelly alone, so isolated. . .
The networking builds community and family that is a demonstration of the truth in the living anology of rain on the face of one dying, lost in a seeming endless desert, broken at last by thirst and merciless heat. We learn hope! We find our feet and give breath to our voice - and we are answered!
A dear girl who's just coming of legal age called me two days ago, her voice trembling with excitement! She'd just proposed to her girlfriend of two years - and she said yes! They're both cast out of their blood families, are working and continuing successfully with school, they are gym rats who love to study martial arts every chance they get - and they have no idea of what the world was just 40 years ago (beyond what they read, and their questions are framed by sober eyes that hold clear resolve), the death that would've eagerly hunted them with adamant and unchallenged social approval!
When I could still function in the overwhelmingly difficult social environment of a convention, I was fascinated by the reactions I'd receive for being well groomed and wearing the equivalent of modest business attire - and a Pride Pin on my lapel. Gun shows, likewise.
Why were Susan and I even admitted inside? Because ouyr community has a face now, evolving, struggling to grow to be sure -
But we're not invisible, alone, and in the closet any more.
They were my heroes because I had asthma as a child and missed a lot of school. I learned how to think, how to dream at their hands. I found that within my mind I could set my own adventures and chart a course that might lead me to freedom. . .
Bach, Beethoven and Mozart did the rest. I survived because of those six; and the concept of celebrating vision and imagination carried and sustained by such music has seen me endure everything else.
A bit of the past is going to be lost, a stand two good men made once, a stand for inclusion that should not be lost.
My article will be re-posted on KABA, but the whole page will not be the same - and I think that what was there is important to us.
Saturday, April 19, 2003
Safety in Being Different by Trisha
I know pain, fear, loneliness, homelessness; I've been raped, and seen the darkness that consumes people when they voice epithets like "Retard!" How can this be? I'm just a quiet, middle-aged citizen happily living in a small home high in the Colorado mountains with my partner of the last 10 years and a couple of cats and a dickatiel (who's sitting on my shoulder as I type this). I see more elk and mule deer during the day than cars or people. I survived the outside world long enough to make it here, to safety and the peace of solitude, and found the protection of my fierce Susan (a Black Belt in TaeKwonDo, an EMT, with a day job in the corporate world). It wasn't always so serene. You see, I'm permanently disabled from an industrial accident that left me with a speech impairment and some motor skills deficits, and I'm a (rather recently) post-operative transsexual (I was born intersexed, and some 40 years ago, doctors tried to make me a boy.... and failed). Still with me? The darkest sides of the outside world have tried to shame me, destroy me, and "put me in my place." Being TS and a lesbian has meant that I had no champion when I would be found beaten to a pulp, or cornered by raging, clean-cut white men and women because I had trouble walking and talking. I had all but given up hope when Susan and I met. She is ferociously protective, and she helped me to believe that I had a value in life, to the degree that I now own, shoot (with my local IDPA club), and am
licensed to carry a pistol. I spend a lot of time working with other women who've survived rape, or feel threatened, to reclaim that sense of self-worth in any degree that I am welcomed or sought out - because no one before Susan ever told me that I had a natural right to live, and contribute to life. Mid November of last year, while I was filling up my old 4WD at the local store, I was confronted my a younger white man who was 6'1" and easily 200lbs, shaved head, wearing camo pants and a muscle tee. His shiny newer 4WD had decals of the Flag, a branch of the military, and a national pro-2A organization along with a bumper sticker that said "America: Love it or leave it!" I was dressed in clean, ironed jeans, a long-sleeve tee, and a denim jacket. I wore no cosmetics, my long hair was just brushed and in a pony tail, and my only jewelry was a moonstone pendant and two rings that Susan had given me. (I apologize, but in going into such detail, I hope to illustrate that I was hardly somehow appearing "flamboyant," or some such) He did several double-takes and then stared for a moment, getting red in the face. He walked the 20ft towards me, with his right arm dicked into a punch, and, some 6-8ft away, screamed "faggots and retards like you don't belong up here in God's country!!!" and kept approaching. I had no doubt but that in the next moment I was going to be violently assaulted. I knew that I couldn't possibly outrun him, and I was a good 75ft from the safety (?) of the inside of the gas station. I did the unexpected: I smiled joyously at him, reached inside my coat and unsnapped the Galco SS2 shoulder rig, got a firm grip on my Glock 21 (loaded with Federal 230gr Hydra-Shoks), and turned to face him! He froze - stock still, and turned ashen gray. I smiled sweetly, and said "I don't mind, but I think you should go home, Honey." Shaking visibly, he walked back to his shiny 4WD and drove off, heading out of the mountains. I believe my life has worth now, and I'll never be afraid of knowing that I have no other option but to get beaten or raped again, because I'll never be unarmed again. Maybe you personally aren't comfortable with Lesbians, Gays, or Transsexuals; or even people who might have trouble walking, talking; or people who somehow just seem too different. In diversity, we have strength. I am a 1st generation American, and my family is from Northern Finland. Otherwise, the Divide-and-Conquer mentality of the liberal Socialists
will win the field. If you have friends who identify with the LBGT community, ask to speak to their support groups on gun rights, and invite them to learn to shoot. We don't need "Hate Crimes" laws. We need a Vermont-Style National Right-To-Carry, Shall-Issue law.
We take the phrase, "one nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all" very seriously here. After reading the above article, one of our Advisors, Mr. David Codrea of GunTruths.com shared his organization's inclusion statement with us. Rather than rewrite it, we simply echo the same sentiment, as follows:
GunTruths.com Is Not Your Enemy GunTruths supports the right of all peaceable people to keep and bear arms. Your age, race, sex, religion, political party, sexual orientation, or national origin are of no concern to us. Anyone who requires you to disarm is not your friend, and not our friend. Only when all peaceable citizens can freely exercise their inalienable right to self defense, and their right to keep and bear arms, will we attain the ultimate safeguard for our mutual protection, as individuals, as members of a community, and as citizens of the Republic. Well said, GunTruths.com friends. We concur, 100%. The right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness extends to all human beings, and all who support the right to keep and bear arms are welcome here, period.
All rights reserved. Articles that are original to this site may be redistributed provided they are left intact and a link to www.KeepAndBearArms.com is given. Click here for Contact Information for representatives of KeepAndBearArms.com.
Goddess above, there are times I think this internet approaches the marvel of electricity (not that I'm that old, mind)! A few hours, a large pot of Costa Rican coffee and a careful trek through an internet archive - and sucess!
The article has been found, saved as a pdf file and forwarded back to Alan!
The rest is up to him. . .
Thanks, everybody - good vibes probably made a difference in my perseverance.
It was my first article, the first time I ever wrote about myself - sort of my coming out piece, too.
I submitted it to Angel Shamaya and ended up feeling like I had friends with both him as well as David Codrea. They stood up for a disabled, TS woman posting a pro self-defense article on a national 2A website. David added his Inclusion Statement at the bottom - one of the first times it had seen the light of day, too.
I went to link to it Friday as context to a new acquaintance - and found the article was no more.
A phone call to Alan Gottleib of the 2nd Amendment Foundation (the current owners of KABA) was pleasant enough, but apparently there is no trace of the article. Alan has said he will see if it can be restored if a copy of it can be found.
My archives only go back as far as 2003, though I continue to dig through stacks of disorganized hard copy - so I'm asking for help!
"Safety in Being Different" has been a long-term link on Pink Pistol's website, and my hope is that someone may have a complete copy to send to me, that I may forward it to Alan.
How do you deal with the CCW restrictions on lawful carry when you go out for a night of fun? Do you go with a group of friends?
For me, it isn't an issue simply because I live some ways off the beaten path (out of necessity) - but I have aquaintences who live and cope with a day job just so they can afford to party!
I would think it's a given that drinking and firearms don't mix - ever, IMHO - but this is about the choices we have to make. Years ago, I used to love to go dancing all night! Did I carry? Sometimes. Did I do so when I went out alone? Always.
My approach to this comes from a different angle: who first empowered GLBT politics? Our community was and is heavily funded by socialist democrats. In return, many in the community blindly submit and become a dependable voting bloc for their keepers.
How to change that? As I have no delusions of grandeur nor megalomania I recruit. I've posted personal ads in lesbian pages with a profile and such with the ad content stating I seek new friends to explore slef-defense, that I'll informally teach what I know without constraint - just bring a background check (NCIC is fine) and sign a waiver of liability.
In the past five years I've connected and succeeded with four women who were rabidly anti! That's not ging to change anything quickly - but it works. They've all moved on, and two correspond with me about their delight in bringing new girlfriends to the dojo and/or the range!
That we have a community at all sees us vulnerable to falling into compliance with those we enjoy as simple friends and aquaintences when en masse. It takes something extra to wear any pro-gun pin or patch in our social gatherings but unless we do it consistently and without other extension of pressure (as casually as I wear a pin that says "I dress this way to bother you!") we aquiesce and fail.
The nightmare of being socially ostracized is very real. It has teeth. There are risks, no sure forgiveness for faux pas, and everything to be gained.